Hotchpotch.

That's what I am right now. A hotchpotch of emotions. It's end of term, which also means it's the end of my time here at Hebron. Last night we had our Staff Party and there were hundreds of farewells. At lunch time we had our last IG meeting and we reminisced. This evening we had our last Selborne 'Sing-a-long' and there have been speeches and presents and 'Thank You' cards and it's all a little overwhelming.
I won't be going far because I have a job in Ooty to come back to in August so I can always drop in at Hebron but I'm still going to miss this. I'm going to miss my little, cosy room in the middle of it all. I am going to miss the several bells that tell us what it's time to do. Wake up? Breakfast? Bus? Dinner? Prep? I'm going to miss all the stomping outside my door as the girls make their way into the dining hall for their meals. I'm going to miss their hyper high-pitched singing of Justin Bieber songs on the buses. I'm going to miss doing shower duty. I'm going to miss the impossible task of trying to put the girls to bed on Tuesday nights. And that's only the stuff related to the students that I'm going to miss. Don't even let me start on how I am going to miss the IG girls... and working with people at school and so many many other things.

Hannah, Lucy, Me, Sammy and Becky.

Hebron is such a hard place to leave. As I watch the graduating students get ready to scatter to the ends of the earth, I can't help thinking back to how I was at the exact same place five years ago. And I find myself there time and again. Curse? Boon? I don't know. A little of both, I suppose. It's the hardest thing to have to start over, say goodbye to old friends, make new friends, adapt to new places and new circumstances. And yet, isn't it incredible to have that chance?
Anyway, for now, this is the hard part. I started to sort out clothes that I need to take with me on my traveling 'spree' over the next month. I put them in my trusty bag that has been all over this country with me and then looked back in my drawer and it felt like I hadn't removed anything at all. So I gave up. Tackle it another day. Tomorrow and tomorrow... Sometimes I wish I were the type that could survive with just the things that I could fit into ONE rucksack. Wouldn't that be handy? Considering how I am always up and moving every couple of months, it would be really nice to just be able to pick up that one bag, throw it over my shoulder and be done with it. But alas, that is not the case. I'm not a chronic hoarder. And I think I'm fairly good at mercilessly throwing things away. It's all just 'stuff' anyway, right? But I still seem to accumulate and carry my whole life around with me. And that's not so fun when you have to pack.
Life must go on. I am grateful that I have some fun times of traveling coming up though. I think a change of scene is necessary and maybe I also need a little perspective... Remind myself how big the world is and just how great the 'scheme of things' really is and how other people have hard things to deal with too. Probably harder and more life-threatening/life-altering than the things I worry about. Stop being such a 'woe-is-me'. Yeah, that's what my hotchpotch self needs right now. So bring it on, end-of-term! Because I know that wherever I go, God goes before me.

Psalm 43:3 

Send out your light and your truth; let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling.