Sometimes I just need to be alone.
You know when you're super stressed and someone is kind enough to massage those knots out of your shoulders? You know that relief you feel when those knotted muscles, un-knot themselves and relax?
That's how I feel when I get time to myself. May be strange but this is the truth and I am learning more and more about this truth about myself lately.
Early this week, I had some time to kill before I had to head over to meet a client so I waited at this little cafe in Indiranagar called Ants. And I can't begin to explain how much I enjoyed myself! I didn't have to talk to anyone, I could sit and write in peace and sort out the jumble in my head... It was just beautiful and so needed!
Sometimes I get so excited about being alone that I don't know what to do with myself! Should I read a book? Write? Listen to music really loud? Watch a movie? Cook? Endless possibilities! My parents are out of town for a day and as much as I love them and I miss them, I have to admit that I am loving being home alone for a little bit.
Isn't that so important? Just admitting certain things about yourself to yourself. If you need to be alone, it's okay. If you need to be out with people, that's okay too. You can be whatever you need to be and it's okay because no two people are the same. No two people have the exact same needs. Accept that about yourself and respect that about others!
Of course, I realise that in the 'real world' it's not always possible to be exactly what you need to be because there are deadlines to meet and expectations to live up to and livelihoods to be made. The 'real world' is so good at making you become something that you're not. It's possible, even easy, to put on this facade. But it grates on you. Surely there's a limit to running on the adrenaline that comes from the constant need to meet deadlines and 'make it' in our fast-paced, non-stop world. Surely there's a point where all the money you make isn't enough, the praise and accolades you get isn't enough, the promotions just don't cut it. Surely there is a point when you lose sight of what is really important and you snap. Just like the Monk Who Sold His Ferrari*.
I'm no expert. I used to know (or at least I thought I knew) what was really important but things have gotten blurry since. I'm not sure and I'm fumbling my way into rediscovering it but I just want to remind myself of this as I do more and more photography. And it becomes more and more my work and not just a hobby.
Be free.
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